A Gritty Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-13

1 If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. 9 For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; 10 but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. 13 And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

This section of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians is sometimes called “The Love Chapter” and has been read at countless weddings. And for good reason, it’s a beautiful text that speaks of a beautiful thing.

Its verses appear in craft stores and home décor with fancy filigree and dainty floral embellishments. This passage always make me think of that scene in Moulin Rouge on the rooftop where Ewan McGregor, in the heat of infatuation, launches into a rapid-fire monologue: “Love is like oxygen! Love is a many splendid thing! Love lifts us up where we belong! All you need is love!” which then literally turns into a song and dance love medley. I remember as a kid, I had a stuffed animal bear from Precious Moments that had a locket around its neck which opened to reveal the words “love BEARS all things.” It seems this poetry has also become a punchline!

All of it speaks of love in such a grand way that feels so far from our reality sometimes that the whole thing seems ridiculous anyway. These poignant lines sometimes seem so omnipresent that it feels cliché.  The way this expansive love is reduced to gooey, doe-eyed, sentimental love feels sickeningly oversweet. And I think that gross feeling too, is for good reason.

While love can certainly connect us to the transcendent, it cannot be disconnected from the gritty stuff of life. Last week we read from this same letter where Paul speaks to these same people about their corroding divisions and their toxic power struggles. This is a community culture that is described as childish in that its people approach the world in a one-dimensional way and they struggle to appreciate or even recognize anything beyond their own self. Confusion and conflict seem to rule the day. So the reality is that these words of love are spoken far from the notion that all is well and everyone is getting along great.

In Chapter 12, Paul has JUST written about the many and various gifts of God dispersed among the community – of speaking in tongues and prophesy, and teaching and understanding, and healing and generosity…

And he KNOWS that instead of seeing this diversity as a gift, they will start fighting about which gift is the most valuable and go right back to their same system of hierarchy that keeps them stuck. Thank God we’re so much better than ancient Corinthians. So he says yes, by all means, pursue and nurture these gifts, BUT…now I will show you the most excellent way. Now I will show you a WAY of being that is above and beyond even all that…

One that speaks less of what we do and more of how and why we do it.

One that speaks of the orientation of our hearts,

One that speaks of faith, hope, and love.

And love…love is what breathes life into all the rest.

Love is what moves our gifts from a place of competition to care. Love tunes our voice from noise into melody. Love transforms our pride and ego into kindness and service. Love is a many splendid thing. Love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.

The Greek language has several words for love and the one used here is agape. It is an intimate self-sacrificing love. It is an unconditional love with no fine print. It is more than feelings; it is love enfleshed – with grit and grace. Ironically enough, agape appears as the theme for a series of New York Life Insurance commercials which solidly proclaims “love takes action.” Agape is love that is more than a word, it is a way of being. This kind of expansive and enacted love isn’t just for romance, but also our relationships of family and friendship, and even with ourselves.

Now….you may look at yourself in this pandemic moment and say…great, now I feel even further from love because all this change and stress does not have me feeling very patient or kind or even hopeful, and the rudeness has hit some real special peaks. And listen…as I sat to reflect on this scripture…my daughter was crying, the smoke alarm was going off, and the dogs were barking. How could this hot mess reflect anything like love? And I honestly don’t know, except for the grace of God.

1st John proclaims that God IS love. Love is the very nature and name of the divine. God’s very identity is love and love is the action in which God is known. Love is God’s means AND ends. Jesus is love in action with breathe and body. And we are created in God’s image. Our very being is a reflection of love.

If God is love and we are created in the image of Love, let’s re-read these verses, exchanging the word “love” for God and then for our own name.

(God) is patient; (God) is kind; (God) is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. They do not insist on their own way; They are not irritable or resentful; 6 They do not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoice in the truth. 7 They bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. 8 (God) never ends.

(name) is patient; (name) is kind; (name) is not envious or boastful or arrogant 5 or rude. I do not insist on my own way; I am not irritable or resentful; 6 I do not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoice in the truth. 7 I bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things. 8 (name) never ends.

Let that sit with you for a minute. Notice how it’s affecting you. You don’t have to feel any kind of way, just notice what’s going on with you. And maybe you can create space later this week to wonder about what it means for you.

I will say this…I have seen this divine love in you all in these days. Love is the bid for attention from those who want to show us the lego tower they’ve built and love is setting down the other task we had envisioned for ourselves to share in this thing that is important to someone else. Love is putting together a playlist for someone about to drive cross country for a family emergency. Love is sharing in someone’s grief, even when we don’t know what to say or do, but just sitting in it together, even in silence.  Love is getting crafty in the kitchen to make something delicious and filling out of odds and ends. Love is delivering care packages of coffee and flowers just because.

Write your own “love is…. “

How would you finish that phrase with what you have seen and experienced?

Love is…..

God is love and you are created in the image of love. This is who God is. This is who YOU are, even when it doesn’t feel that way or seems rather dim.  And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love. Amen.