Forgiveness Isn't the Goal

SACRED STORY – Genesis 37:3-8, 17b-22, 26-34; 50:15-21

37:3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, because he was the son of his old age; and he had made him a long robe with sleeves. 4 But when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably to him. 5 Once Joseph had a dream, and when he told it to his brothers, they hated him even more. 6 He said to them, "Listen to this dream that I dreamed. 7There we were, binding sheaves in the field. Suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright; then your sheaves gathered around it, and bowed down to my sheaf." 8 His brothers said to him, "Are you indeed to reign over us? Are you indeed to have dominion over us?" So they hated him even more because of his dreams and his words.

17b So Joseph went after his brothers, and found them at Dothan. 18 They saw him from a distance, and before he came near to them, they conspired to kill him. 19 They said to one another, "Here comes this dreamer. 20 Come now, let us kill him and throw him into one of the pits; then we shall say that a wild animal has devoured him, and we shall see what will become of his dreams." 21 But when Reuben heard it, he delivered him out of their hands, saying, "Let us not take his life." 22 Reuben said to them, "Shed no blood; throw him into this pit here in the wilderness, but lay no hand on him" — that he might rescue him out of their hand and restore him to his father.

26 Then Judah said to his brothers, "What profit is it if we kill our brother and conceal his blood? 27 Come, let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and not lay our hands on him, for he is our brother, our own flesh." And his brothers agreed. 28 When some Midianite traders passed by, they drew Joseph up, lifting him out of the pit, and sold him to the Ishmaelites for twenty pieces of silver. And they took Joseph to Egypt. 29 When Reuben returned to the pit and saw that Joseph was not in the pit, he tore his clothes. 30 He returned to his brothers, and said, "The boy is gone; and I, where can I turn?" 31 Then they took Joseph's robe, slaughtered a goat, and dipped the robe in the blood. 32 They had the long robe with sleeves taken to their father, and they said, "This we have found; see now whether it is your son's robe or not." 33 He recognized it, and said, "It is my son's robe! A wild animal has devoured him; Joseph is without doubt torn to pieces." 34 Then Jacob tore his garments, and put sackcloth on his loins, and mourned for his son many days.

50:15 Realizing that their father was dead, Joseph's brothers said, "What if Joseph still bears a grudge against us and pays us back in full for all the wrong that we did to him?" 16 So they approached Joseph, saying, "Your father gave this instruction before he died, 17 "Say to Joseph: I beg you, forgive the crime of your brothers and the wrong they did in harming you.' Now therefore please forgive the crime of the servants of the God of your father." Joseph wept when they spoke to him. 18 Then his brothers also wept, fell down before him, and said, "We are here as your slaves." 19 But Joseph said to them, "Do not be afraid! Am I in the place of God? 20 Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today. 21 So have no fear; I myself will provide for you and your little ones." In this way he reassured them, speaking kindly to them.

Stories like this one do not come out of nowhere.  The feelings, and expressions, and choices made…don’t come from nothing. This family has history, generations of history.  Last week we heard about God’s promise to Abram and Sarai, a promise of care and descendants that would outnumber the stars. But this beautiful scene devolves into sexual violence with their servant Hagar who gives birth to Ishmael, then later Sarah gives birth to Isaac who is led to the brink of murderous sacrifice at the hands of his father. None of them ever get along anything like a healthy family. Then Isaac marries Rebekah, who has twin boys Jacob and Esau and they are basically born into animosity with one another, followed by betrayal and conniving and fear that somehow DOES eventually pan out. But before that…Jacob, who will later be called Israel, meets Rachel and makes arrangements with her father to marry her, but then gets tricked by his no father-in-law into marrying her sister and so continues to work in his service in order to earn Rachel, who he makes clear is his favorite. What could go wrong from there? After Leah has 6 sons and a daughter, and the servants of his wives give birth to 2 more sons each, THEN Rachel has Joseph. The much hoped-for firstborn son of his favorite hard-earned wife?  Yeah…I don’t think favorite son even begins to cover it, but it is EXPLICIT in the first verse we read today.

 So all this sit behind and around this sacred story.  And then there’s us. We have our own feelings and expressions, and choices about this story.  I wonder…what do you bring to this sacred story of Joseph and his brothers? What of your own story and experience impacts how you read this? I am an older sibling myself, so I have some pre-conceived stuff about younger siblings. I love my little brother, but he definitely got away with stuff I only aspired, so resentment could easily fester. Which would only be exacerbated by the way I’ve seen this text interpreted over and over. Time and time again, I read commentaries and I myself have preached sermons that cast the young dreamer of Joseph as a bit of a brat.  How could he be so blind to the way his father’s favor (which isn’t really his doing) would form resentment among his brothers? What an insensitive jerk to seemingly rub his superiority in their faces with his dreams? What did he think would happen? Why would an adolescent kid think he could lean on his siblings to understand these weird things that are happening to him? Plenty of voices eagerly rush to declare that he was no angel. He put himself in a bad situation. He kinda asked for it. Somehow, he is also responsible for being left for dead in a pit, being sold into slavery that would lead to his own sexual assault for which he will be incarcerated. It’s tragic, but he should have made better choices.

I’ve been pulled into that narrative too because it feeds my need to be morally superior. It turns my unacknowledged or unresolved feelings into justified form. It not only defends but requires hatred, violence, and harm as a sort of necessary justice.  

“Recently there has been a cultural tendency to justify violence because we feel a certain way. One theologian writes how fear dictates and indeed justifies much of our worst behavior (it has been offered in recent years as supposedly sufficient justification for shooting people, for example). In Joseph’s story it is hatred, stoked by fear of being displaced in their father’s affections, that motivates them to act, but the results are similar. Maybe we imagine ourselves as more self-aware than this.  Maybe we do not identify with the blood-thirsty brothers who want to kill Joseph. But maybe we can’t exempt ourselves so quickly.

Reuben, the oldest son – a status of great privilege, wants to rescue his brother and bring him back to his father. He tries to work within the deadly family system without directly confronting it, and cleverly plays to the clear self-interest of the mob so that they might defeat themselves. But it falls short. When he realizes that he is too late, that his brother is gone from the pit, his vision of himself as triumphant deliverer of his brother (and who has not imagined themselves the savior in a crisis?) vaporizes. And then, instead of confessing all to his father, Reuben goes along with the lie the brothers tell their father, that Joseph has been killed by wild animals. Isn’t this more like us? Possessed of good intentions but caught up in forces larger than ourselves, and losing our agency in the midst of broader evil acts?”

Even when they are all finally face to face again, when the brothers come to plead for mercy, it is still through lies (their father Jacob never expressed such pleas on their behalf), still trying to manipulate, and still self-serving in their motivations. There does not seem to be any true repentance on their part.

Joseph would have every right to hold a grudge.  I wouldn’t even call it a grudge.  If Joseph was my parishioner I would tell him that it is good and healthy to hold boundaries, to recognize your autonomy in deciding how much you should trust someone has exploited you in the past and be cautious of how you extend yourself for their benefit.

Personally,  I want this story to be the Ant and the Grasshopper, everyone gets what they worked for, but then this would be a fable and not the Gospel.

Somehow, even evildoers don’t deserve to starve. Somehow, basic care is possible even without contrition. This is sometimes told as a tale of forgiveness, of reconciliation, but I’m not sure that’s true. The word forgive is never used in this text.  Nor would forgiveness mean that wrongdoers are released from the responsibilities of their actions.  I see no reconciliation among these brothers as they weep – perhaps out of fear, perhaps from some complicated sense of relief from arriving at this point of resolution, perhaps out of grief for the relationship which will never be again. 

Perhaps, rather than forgiveness, it is more a witness to an even larger hope - Liberation.  The Holy Spirit through Joseph recognizes that Liberation is not only for the individual but for all of creation. I say the Spirit in Joseph because Joseph, of course, isn’t a hero of goodness either, he’s human. None of us can really sustain a hero lifestyle.  We all have our moments. Heroic efforts and notorious lives have indeed shaped our world for good.  But ultimately, even more than heroes that rise and fall, we find our hope and freedom in a savior. Joseph proclaims “Do not be afraid,” which is a tell-tale phrase whenever the voice of God is taking over. Christ, who is alpha and omega, is known by power that does not exploit, not exercised as power over, but power with and power for.  It is God’s work, and not just Joseph’s magnanimous personality, that extends grace and mercy. It is the revolutionary power of Gospel upheaval that engages a former slave and convict once left for dead as the one to proclaim liberation and life that includes his whole self in ways that others would deny him, but also that extends to others in ways that would seem otherwise unimaginable.

But what to say of God’s action here? Chapter 50, verse 20 reads “Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today.”

It’s a verse I have often found comfort in and offered as pastoral care in the midst of struggle that longs for redemption. But it has also been used as fuel for theology that proclaims:

“Everything happens for a reason”

“God needed to teach you something”

“God orchestrated your suffering in order accomplish some great good.”

But such a God would be as manipulative, abusive, and evil as the older brothers. This would be a God of morality, not of Goodness. This is not the God that is being revealed in the whole of scripture, in a resurrected Christ, or in the fruit of the Spirit still being born.

The Hebrew word translated as “intends”, is the word chashab. But “intends” as we hear it, isn’t quite right.  It is intention that is less of planning and predestination, but one that evokes both vision and action, of aspiration and movement toward this.  So we might better understand this verse as “you meant to insult and injure, but the whole time…God meant something stronger than that, God means to further good and healing…not just for me but for a numerous people, for all of creation.” “You worked toward harm, God worked to transform it for healing.” “What you envisioned as evil and its victory, God always envisioned as wholeness without end.”

Psalm 118, echoed by Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew proclaims this as “the stone the builders rejected, has become the cornerstone.” Injustice and indignity, however mighty in this world, do not hold ultimate claim over us.  Rejection is no match for God’s redemption. This is a Gospel Joseph needs as much as his brothers, and one that holds resurrection for those beyond them – for a country in crisis and for us too.

Lord knows we are surrounded by a seemingly inexhaustible level of hatred, harm, and manipulation, by good intentions coming up short, by deep hunger, and messy relationships.  It weighs heavily on us and our visions and dreams.  When the fear and the pain and the grief feel overwhelming and when it seems like that weight will drag us all down into the depths, God is still at work, still intending good not only for us but for the multitudes. God makes a way out of no way. That’s what resurrection is. The cross that was intended as shame and suffering, God redeems with liberation and life.

May this divine mystery continue to surprise us and work us into new ways of being, finding rest and release in God’s goodness within and beyond ourselves. Amen.